The world is a scary place. I think everyone knows it. But they don’t. Only those who experience the fear know it. But again, everyone experiences it once in a while, right?

I used to think I always wanted to know the purpose of living, the secret to happiness, the reason to breathe. Sometimes now I feel like I know it. I can feel content with what i possess. I can feel the state of being, I can appreciate the presence of everything that exist around me. The road to positivity starts with removing negativity from own self. To see beauty in unusual things we have to clear out the ugliness inside us.

What is more pity than that you know the secret of happiness but you cannot pursue it yet? You can’t just unload the burden of responsibilities off your shoulder and walk into the wild. You cannot. So that’s why i guess the trick is finding the happiness in doing what you do, and living where you live, with people you love. Finding it now. Not in the past or the future, but right here right now.

I am scared because I have that fear from the past and worries for the future. And for the ten minutes in the morning i spend doing nothing but closing my eyes and breathing, I can let go of these feelings that tighten me. I can get loose. I feel like I can see that machine, the mind. I can tame it, calm it down, soothe it and prepare it for winning the day.

I don’t know the exact methods of meditations, but closing the eyes, focusing on breathe and feeling content with the body and surrounding is what I do. I take few minutes after waking up to do this. I feel like I open the door of my mind, to let the anxieties from yesterday fly away and to let the positivity enter in. It’s like emptying the body and making it light. That moment I try to visualise how I want my day to go. And gain the confidence in myself  to accomplish the action plans.

If I plan out everyday like this with action plans, task list, todos, the year will pass away too soon I guess. I used to hate planning a lot about life. I used to think, where is the fun of being carefree and enjoy the unexpected from life? But the word I’ve been using “carefree” was my illusion. I realise now, the real word should have been “careless”. And while it looked like having fun, it’s effect in life and work is pretty bad.

It is like how will you reach anywhere, if you do not know where to go?

I have decided my destinations this year, I’ve stepped out to start the journey. Am i nervous? Yes, I’m nervous like hell. But I have already started to notice my productivity level has increased. It sounds obvious to me now that spending a day without planning is worthless.

And the really cool part is, the daily action plans are not all about work and skill and productivity only. My daily task lists re filled up with work related todos like sending proposals, designing wireframes, meeting clients and also personal growth related like writing as per my daily 500 words challenge, learning one new thing per day, drinking water etc.

All my life I was used to wait for luck to find me. It didn’t work. This year I’m going to find the luck, by working hard.